Young and free only 17.
Is it just me or you don’t really realise how drunk you are until you are in a bathroom alone???
haha its so awkward when youre digging a hole to hide a body and you find another body.
this is perhaps the most broken economy ever conceived
just realized you don’t need to say 6am or 6pm. we already know the m is there so just write like 6a or 6p. can’t believe no one figured this trick out before.
or you could do the easy thing and say 0600 and 1800
yeah like adding a bunch of unnecessary zeroes is easy. you piece of shit. you fucking coward
you dont just play the sims. you go on a sims binge for three days straight then put the game down for 5 months
how did they learn to translate languages into other languages how did they know which words meant what HOW DID TH
English Person: *Points at an apple* Apple
French Person: Non c’est une fucking pomme
*800 years of war*
"C’est une fucking pomme" is now my favourite phrase
right up there with Viva la pluto
that would make the funniest fucking story ever. Due to a mix up at the factory, the template for incantations that was supposed to a publishing company of dark art books is sent to a feminine products factory. Girl then accidentally summons Satan with period blood. Satan gets confused because its “dead blood” and when he shows up he realizes the sacrifice was done incorrectly so he cannot take the girl’s soul but now is bound to do her bidding because oops his bad, he showed up anyway.
WHY DO PARENTS ALWAYS RUIN YOUR DAY AND THEN ACT LIKE THEY DIDNT RUIN YOUR DAY AND WONDER WHY YOURE IN A BAD MOOD
My Mom just accidentally prematurely sent an email to an accounting firm… It was supposed to say ‘I am afraid that we will have to postpone our meeting”
but she hit send when all it said was
I am afraid